We heard (not) from a little worm that crawled out from a hole in an apple that the major technical orchard has been working on a prototype iCar for the masses.

First thing – It definitely won’t fit in your pocket… but if it did it would most probably defeat the purpose.

Secondly – It’s jam packed full of functions and devices…

The quality of the stereo is next to none… Naturally it’s powered by either your iPhone or iPod of course by simply connecting them to the new iAmp in the iConsole which feeds to your high definition iSurroundYou iSpeakers. You’ll be able to control your tunes and download music right from a panel on your iSteering interface… Which may get a little getting used to as you’ll need to learn to type whilst you’re tilting the iWheel from side to side, to and fro to steer and accelerate the iCar. (We strongly recommend you do not type while driving! Apart from the danger the clicking sounds from the keyboard will most definitely bother you most favourite tune, unless that is you can type in sync with the beat). The next version in development will most likely have the keyboard disabled whilst in motion and you’ll be able to use iVoice commands to control pretty much everything – except the kids in the back seat of course. (If you find a solution to that please please let us know)

The iCar is fitted with all-round iCameras to automatically engage the iBrakes in case you’re riding to close to the iCar in front of you and the iSuspension makes really cute pop-boppy sounds when you go over bumps. (the sounds can be download from the auto app store and customised to suit your iStyle)

The iBoot is naturally fitted with a variety of specially crafted houses for all your iGear and iAccessories just as you would expect from the star manufacturer.. there’s even a special little places for the ladies to keep a handy iPad just in case.

Anti-scratch iProtector kits will be able to be custom ordered, pre-delivery or purchased from a variety of 3rd party developers once the iCar goes into mass production although getting them on without bubbles will most probably require an iCleanRoom and a lot of practice.

Navigation is a breeze – Simply enter your iDestination into any number of installed apps and the iCar will iDrive you directly where you need to go or give you the choice of a handy iHeads-up display to follow on-route.

Apart from the GPS capabilities of the iCar the apple is considering implementing the new iGSP unit which actually knows when and where you want to go – Simply get into the car, think, listen to music and chill – Just beware of diverting your focus to attractive members of the opposite sex walking on the sidewalks as the iCar may in fact flow with your thoughts. You only have to override it for toilet breaks as they’re still working on the facility to enable iNeedToPee detection.

You can listen to thousands of hours of music and watch hundreds of hours of video on the iHeads-up display – The only setback is that it takes a while to charge and you’ll need to plan your trips very carefully as you can only drive about 3km before you get the 20% remaining battery warning. But with that said the resolution of the iTouchWindscreen is pure magic and it is crystal clear.

There are many other gizmos and functions that may be included or added but we are not at liberty to disclose this information, even if we had any idea what the developers had next in mind.

All in all the iCar is absolutely wonderful and in true manufacturer form we’ll only know about it a day before it’s released – So will they.

Posted on 14. Apr, 2011 in Blog, Drive-by shooting, Just for fun, News, On the street